Friday, November 20, 2009

When life gives you lemon...


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No tongue-y. why? ALL FOR BASKETBALL. I feel weird without my stud. but its worth. For basketball people, for basketball! \m/


Econs and Physics today. Econs was a goner. I don't understand shitz, so i shall make it up by studying tomorrow ^^. We only had 30mins of physics instead of an hour ^^ Jitao shiok! My classmates were awesome because they siam-ed with me. hee hee. My mum was having this meeting with Dm and my tutor you see.. and I don't wanna to be asked to sit next to her because I'll probably cry and all. so my awesome classmates walked a BIG round to the LT JUST FOR ME. ^^


Ball later. Sally and I chilled till we cannot chilled lol. then we slept on the benches and got fucked by some teacher :( Like whaaat, its not like anyone wants to see us. tsk. Training fun but tiring duh. As usual, me hearts hearts training. LIKE FINALLY WE CAN SHOOT AND PLAY IN THE COURT. Hate rainy days, make me no mood for ball and make me wanna sleep so bad.

Sok said something that had me laughing for 3 mins straight without breathing LOL

You know when you wanna dribble the ball, its called dai in chinese or smth like that.. 

Me: oh so your pattern is like I throw to you from the base line then you will throw back to me la?
Sok: Ya, if I don't have the confidence of dai-ing the ball.
Me: ohh, then why you just now pass to Cindy?
Sok: Because I feel that she's a better dai-er (Tyre)
HAHAHAHAHHAH CLASSIC PLEASE. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAH


Bus ride home was a hardcore embarrassment. I've seriously got no place to hide my face. Nisa HAD TO wave to some random SRJC guy who happens to be sitting in front of us. (we were both standing). then she had to talk to him. they were freaking talking as though they were long lost friend. Then Sally had to be siao on the bus. Going all cranky and high. WLOU, CAN ANYONE FEEL MY PAIN?? I'M HANGING WITH TWO IDIOTS.  


K. so like things happened when I got home. k, THING happened when I got home. I'm NOT trying to bring Gary down but I guess its good for the both of us to get this clear once and for all. to tell y'all the truth, i was kinda expecting this. hee hee I'm a woman now. Woman sixth sense cannot playplay one hor. 


Hi. I know you're reading. Maybe you're not but maybe you would..so anyways! Sure, I do feel sad when you said that. Sure I cried. But if thats your decision then i think its right for me to respect it since you've given much thought to it. You're nice. I'm nice. We both are nice. but maybe we're just not cut for each other. I deserve better. You deserve better. we're quits. I must admit, for the past 3 weeks or so, I kept having doubts. I don't know what's on your mind. I don't know how are you feeling. But I believed in us, I believed in this chemistry. Though I would always feel that I'm at the losing end, but love conquers all. You don't know how happy I am when you just randomly talked to me. Stupid much I know. As much as I told myself not to talk to you, I would ended up talking to you. As much as I told myself to stay online for 5 mins, I would ended up staying online for 50. All because of this feelings.. I know I've said that I'm afraid of this feelings  being a mistake for both of us, and now I dare say. its not.
and i think its the best for us not to talk anymore because its the only way to forget about us. K, maybe not ANYMORE.. but not for now. I need time. I need space. I cannot bring myself to talking to you like a normal friend because I'm me. Furthermore, I don't want to know anything about you. Needless to say about us being good friends, I rather know nothing than to know everything. I wanna keep myself in suspense, because its the only way for me to entirely let you go, because its the only way for me not to feel hurt/pain/whatever. You'll lose a mojo(HAHA) to talk to for now. Maybe we shall talk again few years down the road, maybe we will never. But either way, i still wish you all the best in life ^^ Don't give up on yourself and you'll always be the greatest for you are gary. Please don't feel guilty because it holds you back in life :) and they say always to look things on the brighter side... so yeah, I won't have to endure the pain of missing. I wouldn't have to wait till late hoping you'd call. Mates wouldn't have to suffer from all my whining stuff. You don't have to waste cabbing down to meet me. You don't have to feel guilty about me anymore. You don't have to crack your silly brain to make me happy anymore. LOL. Two words for the both of us, BE HAPPY! Speaking of which, I'm real happy that you're honest with me :) thats enough for me because I hardly meet honest boyfriends. I still think its a waste for us to part because of that reason but ultimately, its your decision.  For I know that I can't hold on to us if you made up your mind. Like what I've said many times before, I won't force you to stay if you don't want to so I figure that I shut my mouth up and give you want you want. No words could ever bring us back now can it? You know I don't want this to happen and I so much wanted to hold on but I must know what I want and what I can give to make it the best for the both of us.  I want you to be happy and so if you're happier this way then I'll give it to you because this is all that I can give. for now, there's no room for regrets, no more turning back.  (fyi, I've deleted you from msn and facebook and all. hee hee. reason being simple, I don't want to know what's going on with you and your life. I even don't want to know (x100000) that you've fallen for another or not. if you really really really reallllllly want to save a friendship for us, then respect this. We'll talk if god wants us to. and I SAY FIRST, if we happen to bump into each other on the streets, I doubt I would say hi . maybe i would, well it depends on how fast am I moving on LOL. SO YA ^^) PS: PLEASE PLEASE DON'T FEEL GUILTY IF YOU HAPPEN TO READ THIS. PLEASE. LAST FAVOUR I ASKED OF YOU. DON'T. BECAUSE IT CONFUSES YOUR EMOTIONS AND FEELINGS. Promise me to be happy.

So what if I am a good girlfriend. So what? I still can't get to be with the guy that I like. I kept telling myself that I deserve better, but I would always find myself contradicting.. because why do I even want someone better when I'm happy with you. Face it joelyn, its your life. 

"Am I the fool. Am I the victim. Tonight I'm blinded. I've tried and is this the way it ends?"


And you guys think that I'm gonna go emo.

Sad to say, I'm not!! :) SERIOUSLY. I'M NOT AND PERFECTLY FINE.  Baby called and she lectured me like siao. but she makes sense. Ok, most of her stuff do just that I won't listen. hahahah but ya la. I love her best. I complained many stuff to her, not about this but others GUY stuff. some people just won't stop flirting with me. I shall be nice and not mention names but ya la, stop it and go kisskiss hughug your girlfriend. Baby guessed that there'd some other guy who's gonna steal my heart again. this time is a no-no. Self control. I cannot afford to have another heart break. Too much I can't take. I need to study and ball hard!! 


I've got the bestest friends ever I swear. People like Hazim Gabriel Sally Baby and Yuanyun are mega sweethearts. I spam many hearts to you people okay ^^. 'm gonna catch a movie with baby and probably shopping! I've got this skirt-feel tomorrow. HEE HEE. YOURS TRULY WEAR SKIRT A BIT RARE AH I KNOW. but feelings you know, feelings. k no, change of plans! Stephy wanna bake!! And so we shall bake! HAHA. I think I'm gonna mess her place up again but heck la, I'm having fun!! :) I've been saying this for ages.. I wanna learn to play the guitar! ANYONE WANTS TO TEACH ME? I'M LIKE A FAST LEARNER. CHEH CHEH HAHA. Pls ah, FOC can?? HEEEEEEEEE. 


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