I wonder if,

Many times I've said that my life's awesome and there's times when I say I hate my life. Never knew I would say this but, I hated having us. I feel like as if I'm being watched (not that I'm saying that anyone would look at me) but there's a tendency to. I feel like as if I'm a fucking fool because I'll be talked about. but then again, if I were to relive my life, I'll still stick to this. Contradictory spells all over my face I know, let me be. I just hate this kind of feelingz. but whatever, I'll still do good :) take life as it joelyn.