For one so small, you seemed so strong.

Many a times I've said that I wanna give up on us. Many a times you heard me going "I don't care" about us. Many a times.. I never really meant what I said. Sure that I'm mad. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one trying so hard to save us. Seriously, I was on the verge of giving up. But never once did I. cus looking back, on how we've come so far, together, as one.. made it so hard. I missed you bad baby. Yes you baby. I doubt you would come here cus you're busy with your stuff. But if you ever happen to see this, I just wanna tell you.. that I'm sorry for being so harsh with my words. (I need to learn to control my flying emotions) I still love you, and I really miss you.. I don't wanna lose you, like how I almost did two years ago. Please do fine :') 

A simple "I feel like eating yogurt" text had leon over to my place. Mega sweetheart please (L). its only been a week and my phone is already dying on me!! :( ASS LG PHONE. rahhhhhzzz, Ball with my dad this morning!! He sibei haolian please. "wa zhun" "wa qin zhun" "wa sibei zhun" got asshole not you tell me.

and hello ..

ZIM! I MISS YOU!!!! WE SHALL HAVE DINNER TGT WITH INDIAN MAN OKAY :) :) :)

Gave up, gave in

wooooooo. Yesterday was cake smashing awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) I was high high high during school I swear. Dancing all over at the canteen, singing with my dearest patpat in the hall with the fresh mens! Fabulous i tell you!! I cannot stop going crazy. Bathed and Leon tompang me over to Ruban's chalet!! k, I admit I was tired and boredddd there cus I'm like that HAHA. Leon ate like a pig as usual, Ivan was crazy as usual, Tim was laughing at ivan like mad as usual, Nic talking about stuff which I don't really care as usual.. Ruban was high all the way NOT USUAL. that indian man was fucking high. 

My fun kicks in after the cake cutting session! BLOODY LEON JITAO JUST WHIP THE DAMN CAKE ON MY FACE. then Ivan and Nic joined in and my hair and face was covered with creammm. ASS. I'm not going down without a fight!! so I geared myself up with both hands filled with cake creams and WHIPWHIP on Ivan's and Nic's face!! IN YOUR FACE LOSERS!!! MUAHAHAHAH. then they arm wrapped me while I did my flying anyhow kick on them! HAHAHAHA. Had so much funnn. but damn such fun is always short lived :( 

Ruban, Nic and Ivan got drunk. DEAD drunk. The party only last for 2 hour or so. hahahahh knocked out at 2 when I got home. 

and today, attended some leadership stuff and its all about the same thing. MODELING THE WAY. Sorry but fucking nb cb. I don't see how MODELING THE WAY act as a basis for being a leader. like what I've said many times before, looking nice and neat don't really matter. 

"you're a hypocrite if you don't model the way. so its either you give up your leadership position or change" 

Sorry lor. I stand firm on my grounds. I know life is sometimes about sacrifices but WHY CANT THINGS CHANGE? WHY MUST PEOPLE JUDGE ON THEIR APPEARANCES? What is it about first impression? Whatever, I'll show it to you that I can fucking do people proud. You just wait and see. I don't mean to be rude to you but it really boils me too much. I cannot stand people standing in my way. this is my life and I want to challenge the process. CAN? 

I wonder if,

Many times I've said that my life's awesome and there's times when I say I hate my life. Never knew I would say this but, I hated having us. I feel like as if I'm being watched (not that I'm saying that anyone would look at me) but there's a tendency to. I feel like as if I'm a fucking fool because I'll be talked about. but then again, if I were to relive my life, I'll still stick to this. Contradictory spells all over my face I know, let me be. I just hate this kind of feelingz. but whatever, I'll still do good :) take life as it joelyn. 

Waking up to this life,

HELLO SPACE!!! omg I miss typing in this space. School's been eating up all my time. But its a good thing! I had my mind filled with books and bball babies! Nothing could ever beat this I swear (L). Its been a great week. My semester probation is gonna end soon.... Happy kid :) 

Aiyo, Poor thing. Why upset about your boyfriend huh? Come here, I'll shower you with all the love you want okay :) HAHA. Mean is so me. Year one kids are coming on the 27th! Wonder what'll happen. 

gonna get a new phone with my mum later! byes :) 

Nothing is the besthing,

Nothing could ever beats knowing nothing :) But now that I know something, the feeling isn't near good. I know its all good and over. but it itched my heart so bad. then again, its your life and I shalln't say a shit about it. I'll do good, always will. 

Monday > Training

Tuesday > PE

Wednesday > Training

Thursday > PE

Friday > Training

Hows that!

I don't have the damn feel to blog. School takes too much of my time. So 'm gonna kick my blog and fb aside. No more of cyber world now :) till then! 

Every inch matters,

 miss me? :D School was fantastic! My legs are ever aching from monday's and today's training. But its a good ache :) hee. My DM is still nagging about my hair tyvm, makes me so less want to go school but bball and classmates made it all better :) I can't wait for tomorrow! OUTDOOR PE AT PASIR RIS PARK!!! \m/ We're so gonna play games and all. Like how freaken awesome is this huh! Everything is falling into places now all thanks to my darling pat girl ^^ HAHA. Last longer people!! Don't you dare risk another heart break from the innocent souls. You both can't afford it. Karma comes back to you TWICE AS BAD, so treat people x10000 better!! HEE. anyways! I don't have the highhigh feeling when I see my hot guy anymore O: total shockness. I don't have the I-want-to-stare-at-him-longer-but-don't-dare-to-look feeling anymore. I could totally stare straight into his eyes now. Could anyone tell me the why huh? OH! I'm effing proud of my brother cus he scored 11 for his R4!!!!!! and I'm double happy cus he scored 18 for his R5!!! YESSSSSS! Poly is def for him :) NO SRJC NO SRJC NO SRJC ^^V. Happy + proud sister here! Massive lagging @ facebook. ITS A SIGN! A sign for me to go text and to go bed!! :) OUTDOOR PE TOMORROWW WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! ^^

School starts tomorrow!

Reckon I wanted school to start so bad when I'm having my holidays and now school's starting in less than 24 hours...... I want my holidays back! The thought of my term probation makes me wanna stay out of school. The thought of having training with my wonderful mates so makes me wanna attend school. The thought of reaching home as late as 9pm makes me wanna stay in bed. The thought of seeing my hot guy makes me HAPPY. HAHA kidding. KID-DING. 

But whatever. School starts tomorrow and nothing can change that! So I shall quit whining and live like no tomorrow for I'll be leaving school in less than 11 months' time. FAST SHIT. O lvls results out at 2 says my brother. MANNNN, I'm so gonna be the first one to call him! PLZ R5 MORE THAN 17 AND R4 LESS THAN 12!!!! No SRJC NOOOOOOOOO.. NO SRJC FOR MY BROTHER. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO HAHAHHAHA. 

Avatar3D with Leon yesterday! Played red car plates all the way! CB! that guy don't know when to stop!! We freaking play the damn game on the highway la!!! HAHAHAHHAHHAHAHA. Awesome fun :) Love the nightzzzzzzz. thanks dude :) 

xxx, figure I shouldn't waste my time. I'm turning 18. damn

OH FUCK IM DEAD. 

HAHAHAHAH SHIT DEAD. CONFIRM I'LL BE IN YOUR LIST. DIEEEEEEEEE. SHIT SHIT SHIT. THROW FACE. BUT THEN AGAIN, WHATEVER. THROW MY FACE ALSO NOT YOUR FACE. AT MOST YOU FEEL GULITY ONLY MAH ^^ 

Playing mean,

I feel mean being this way but it makes me feel a 120% better! think that I shouldn't waste my time on both on you. I've got way better stuff to do than to make myself all sad :) I still can't believed that I'm so right about you then. Hell yeah to me growing wiser.

BOOYA!
HEEEEEEEE. 'm gonna meet leon for Avatar 3DDDDDDDDDD later!!!!! :) 3D LEH TWEEEEEE DDDDDIIIIIIII. ^^ Gotta enjoy my last 48 hours before school starts!

can I be a little more mean for a sec? Nehmind! I shall be mean together with Pat! Because we can get mad TOGETHER!! YAY. hahahhaaaaaaaa.

11th March? Well I say... WHATEVER :) for I am...

JOELYNNNNN *echoes* WHO OWNS SHIT. YOUR SHIT :)
"Its a waste for us to part" what was I thinking? TSKKKKKKKK.

tenth ten,

Am I supposed to believe and take everything you said to me?

Am I supposed to believe that you've actually meant whatever you said and you feel what you said to me and you're not a tad bit lying? 

Am I supposed to believe that your doings are all for the better of my sake? 

Am I supposed to believe THIS? 

I'd love to believe everything. LOVED TO, because then it'll all be sweet and we're like living in a fairy tale. then again, reality pulls me back. C'mon la, I was a dick head. Fairy tales are like us, never happens. YAY. and then some stuff had to fucken kick in! I think I can termed this week as truth week. damn. Whatever about your feelings, I don't fucking give damn to it now. Hella was I guilty about that but now I'm not. Here's an advise for you guys, don't use the same line to get girls. DON'T. Especially a girl like me who stalks on people when boredom caves in ^^ 

 3 more days till school starts! I wanna have some awesome fun! SAT, SUN ANYONE?????? :D 

AND HELL YEAH, MY SALLY IS COMING BACKKKKKKK HAHA THINK I'LL BE SPAMMED WITH ALL HER "COOL" STUFFZ AT SARAWAK. 

Who was I,

Who was I to make that fucking statement.

Was mad. Blogged a chuck. Chilled. and then deleted that chuck. 

 I don't wanna be mad at this anymore. I'll surrender, to both of you. I don't know what you what, and I don't even wanna know what you're thinking. Whatever, its your life. Live the way you want it :) I'll heck. ALL. THE. WAY

I'll live my life better. with or without. I'll still do good. I'll do what I do best, FUCKED ITZ! ^^

yeah now you can officially tell me that three words again

IN. YOUR. FACE. or TOLD. YOU. SO

Whatever about don't give up the whole forest for a tree or just one stinky fish doesn't mean the whole ocean is full of stinky fishes. Its just like fairy tales. Never happens. 

SCHOOL'S STARTING ON 11th AND SO IS MY BROTHER'S DOOMZ DAY HAHAHHA (ya that ass got the wrong info from his friend's girlfriend's friend's brother so blame him! BAHHAH). CB, MY MUM TOLD MY BRO THAT SHE'S GONNA GET HIM A LAPTOP IF HE LAND HIS ASS IN A JUNIOR COLLEGE. HE SAID HE WANNA ENTER SRJCCCC. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO :( I DONT WANT!!! LOL. Later he confirm stalk my hot guy till maximum power!! Speaking of my hot guy, guess who i saw today after training!! :D BAHAHAHAHAH HOT LEY. and I know you asses been reading wigglywamwam and couldn't stop asking if I like my hot guy or not... for the many times, I DON'T. so quit asking and doubting. 

Sigh, whats so hard telling about your feelings and not because of you being not worthy? HUHHHHHHH ENLIGHTEN ME LEH. 

and i think I scare someone awesome away. bahahah like why am I even surprised? I'm always scaring awesome people away from my life and attracting the heartbreakers. 

Dramamamas got me crazy,

Man. been ages since I've got myself hooked onto a drama series.. and now that I am... IT BOILS ME SOOOOOO MUCH HAHA :P I was watching the 9o'clock show on Channel 8 and WHATS WITH GUYS AND THEIR "BECAUSE YOU DESERVE BETTER" ?! huhhhhhh. She wants to be with him and then that stupid guy wanna her to get someone else and now she gotten someone else .. he wants her back! STUPID or STEW-PIG?? All comes to one damn annoying reason, because you deserve someone better. BLAH. hahahahha and this is why I should never ever get hooked onto any drama series. I'll get all cranky HAHA. Cartoons is still the best, the best for the broken hearts and innocent souls 0:) 

Played ball with my brother at 230! Can I complain about how much I hate playing with ahbengs?

because I really hate playing with them :( Ego kan high! high until cannot see the sky! eewie. I've been doing my chem, math and econs papers for the past few dayzzzzz... and i am still so not ready for school :( DAMN. I can totally picture myself for the first term. I'll definitely cry. Its either my hair or the stress level. bahahahhhaha. typical me, sigh sigh. anyways!! O's levels results are releasing on the 12th! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. Bet i'm excited for my little brother!! hope that he'd enter some business course in TP he wanted. NO JC FOR HIM PLZ. because the only JC he could ever enter is SR. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO WAY is he coming to SR. NOO NO NONONO. I'm sooo mean but yeah, NO WAY! some bitch is making me mad. GOT BOYFRIEND ALREADY STILL WANT TO HONG MY ***********************************! okay not mine, but still!!!!! argh. but you're way luckier than I am. you're prettier than I am, hotter than I am, but DEF NOT NICER than I am(because your attitude stinks and you're an arrogant ass).. still, you're life is much better than mine.. but heck, I'll do much better than you in the future! HEE. 

TRAINING TOMORROW WITH MS RIVERA. LIKE FINALLY. I CAN TOTALLY BURN MY FATS AND GAIN MUSCLES NOW. 

Up ahead it reads "Pass me" ,

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. this is the feeling of fabulous :) Woke up realizing that my brother was only sleeping 5cm away from my freakishly large face. I got the shocked of my life, swearz! Never have I been this close to my brother since forever! bahah. Yesterday night was fever! I was in my brother's room playing my damn cake mania 2, which is hella cool and addictive.. Man, I don't mind spending my nights like this, with my brother <3 

I think I ran fast today cus I see all ahpehs looking at me. LOL. Now I'm lying on my bed, still smelling like a pig! SHIOK! but the house still feel empty though, sigh. Mum just bought us lunch and she's gonna make dinner!! the only time when you see my mum and dinner together in a sentence is when the word "CANNOT" is in between them. this only spells one thing, disaster. and I'm not even exaggerating! she NEVER EVERRRRRRR cook. never! 

I feel strong.

do you?
Strong without ...... :)

HEEEEE
gotta study and then chilled with my brother again! TILL THEN!

I'll stand right back up,

Argh. Cafe boils me many much. I was alone from 2 till 5. fucking shag I swear. I didn't have time to catch my breath, as in seriously... i was THAT busy. I had to manage the store all by myself. and I dare say that I'm the only person who can ever survive this one man show. Been going through this shits for many MONTHS, and yet they still fucking treated me for granted. so since I'm not being appreciated, why stay longer? Quit joelyn, QUIT, for I deserve better, I ALWAYS deserve something better. Sometimes being that awesome isn't a good thing afterall huh.

Remember my winnie pooh tattoo on my hand? HAHA. customers all thought it was some burnt mark or something. They were awesomely cute!! A smile could totally make my day, this is why I love my job. Seeing happy faces makes me happy :) anyways, head down to ikea with my family after work!!

My dad cracks up good joke seriously.
Mum: Eh, you go measure the table height first!!!
Dad: *lazy to take measuring tape.. stands beside the table* there! just nice at my penis there.
Mum: tsk, later your penis stand how to buy table?!
BAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA.
We were crazy assholes at ikea but bought nothing. but shopped like SIAO at giant. Got a whole lot of stuffz. fruits, canned food and my milkzzzzz! ^^ yeah, i'll be eating canned food :(

My grandma called when we got home! feels so weird to hear her and not see her :( Its only been a day and she can't stop worrying about me!!!!!!!! awwwwww. you bet I miss her! But she'll be coming back to visit on weekends!! yay.

favourite my pigu la! favourite. zzzz. argh, asssssssssssssss.
No training tomorrow :( suckkkkkkkk but i'm gonna run and burn all the fatzzzzz. wooooo, i feel the wobbly-ness when I don't exercise! i think its me but yeaaaaa, hate the feeling of not exercising LOL. K BAI TIME TO PLAY CAKE MANIA 2!! ^^

Identical people,

I HATE TWINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hahahahahhaha kidding! How on earth could I ever hate such hot pair huh! HAHA, okay i was kidding.  but yeah, i've been fooled by twins. TWICE to be exact. 

Fooled by twins case #1 

I saw this guy in school. Quite a hot guy to be exact :P. Saw him quite a few times during orientation, still hot. HEE. Then I remembered victor asking if I've seen any good looking guys in school...

Me: Have ah!

Victor: so how he look like?

Me: uhhhh, quite tall... white uniform 

Victor: wear spects not?

Me: i don't know leh, sometimes wear spects. sometimes never. 

and then the very next day....... 

A text received from Sally and it reads /your hot guy got twin brother! one wear spects one never wear spects! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA. like whaaaaaat, I burst out into laughter. best 2009 joke!!! k so thats case number one. 

Fooled by twins case #2.

hmmmm.. known him through best. he's like my best's very long and sweet boyfriend (deon) muaha. anyways! He added me in facebook.. okay nothing exciting about it. then some time later, Deon added me in facebook AGAIN. this time round its the deon, the deon that I knew, not his brother, leon. I didn't even have a single doubt that both of them are different person la!! I thought that Deon had another account. Ya ya then you'll be wondering .. "but one's deon and another leon. HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL?" Simple, because I didn't even SEE the damn name HAHA. I just looked at the damn picture. " oh he's deon okay, accept"  bahahahha. see! got punk'd again! 

Amen, I don't wanna have twins. I don't wanna risk having them poor kids mixed up. 'm gonna work tomorrow........ gonna pick up my balls and tell them that I'm quitting!

"How could I let someone so dear slip through my hands" 

yea baby, how could you?  

Forever be,

I spent my first 2010 night crying tyvm. Its plenty much stupid but yeah, I cried.... over many things. I thought of my families and my friends and all......... bah. Basically, I thought about my life. which kinda sucks to some extent. 

My grandma and cousins left. it feels kinda empty.. sigh. whatever. I'll do good. 

I think that I'm gonna get fired real soon because I didn't know that I'm working opening today and they totally spammed me with 20 missed calls. BAHAHHA. Like I care.

'm gonna head over to loyang to mug math with pohling!!!! ^^
This is nothing but pure awesome. Study + meet my sweetie pie = great saturday! I feel like playing ballllllll

oh!

this is the new jerry hahahahah.

then my cuz did this for me :) CUTE RIGHT.

K its two, gotta run now! BYEEESSSZZZ :)